Dear Kid,

You know those pesky little expiration dates on food?

Not all food has an expiration date of course. Some food (bananas) don’t have an expiration date because they have a built in notification system. Some food (Twinkies) shouldn’t need an expiration date because no one has lived long enough to see a Twinkie actually go bad.

And some foods (according to a recent article in the Huffington-less Huffington Post) don’t have expiration dates because they never, ever (emphasis on ever) go bad.

According to the article (read it here) the magic 11 are:

1. Honey
2. Rice
3. White Vinegar
4. Real Vanilla Extract
5. Salt
6. Corn Starch
7. Sugar
8. Hard Liquor
9. Dried Beans
10. Instant Coffee
11. Maple Syrup

Of course, what this wonderful list of foods mostly leaves out is, um, food. Granted rice and beans is a Most Excellent source of nutrition, but it’s pretty much the only one.

Rice and sugar may not “go bad,” but you can get bugs. Put a bay leaf in each container to keep the bugs away (seriously).

More importantly, why would you stock up on some of these things? I guess it’s good to know that you won’t have to throw this stuff out, but hopefully you don’t have too much to begin with. I mean, how much hard liquor do you need? (Don’t answer that.)

Love, Mom