Dear Kid,

If you’ve ever thought about buying a Lottery ticket today might be the day. Because the unthinkable, the unimaginable has happened.

Rarer than a Royal Flush, more unlikely than a calorie-free brownie, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Wait, that’s different.

Back to our story. Your father, the man who is reluctant to part with garbage, the man who wears t-shirts until they are 90% holes, laid his laptop to rest and bought a new computer.

Dad's old computer was slightly (but not much) more powerful than this one.

He didn’t have much choice. He somehow managed to download a corrupted file. This wouldn’t have been the World’s Biggest Problem except that the computer in question was prehistoric (at best) which meant that none (emphasis on Not Any) of the software on his machine was still being supported.

Actual message: We’re sorry, but the program you are trying to access is outdated and no longer supported. You are the only person on the planet still trying to use this program. This makes you a technical dinosaur. Get a new machine.

At first, Dad challenged The Message. He was determined to cleanse his computer and continuing using his antediluvian machine. He researched. He investigated. He went to Microcenter and beseeched them to resuscitate his laptop. No matter how hard he begged, they laughed harder.

Finally, after suffering Severe Email Withdrawal, Dad caved and bought a new laptop.

He and the New Laptop are getting to know each other. They are more stuck with each other than working like a well-synchronized team. Because the operating system is, um, modern, Dad is having to figure out where things are and what the new capabilities are. This is – not surprisingly – leading to frustrations and inefficiencies. Which leads to more inefficiencies and frustrations.

Be that as it may be, Dad actually has a laptop that was manufactured in this millennium!

Which means it’s Lottery ticket day.

Love, Mom