Rules for Life

5 Facts About College Kids and an Important Reminder

Dear Kid,

I had a few not-so-good minutes yesterday. Not hideously CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT bad, but bittersweet.

And it’s your fault.

I got up (relatively early for a Sunday with no scheduled plans). As I sat thawing (after walking the Puppy in sub-temperature degrees) and drinking my coffee (duh) I thought, “I wonder what time the Kid will wake up today.”

And then I realized that A) I was right that you were probably still sleeping and B) I was right that you would wake up at some point later in the morning but C) you were not going to come downstairs, fuzzle-headed, to join me for breakfast.

Some of us get over the excitement more quickly than others...DearKidLoveMom.comBecause you’re no longer here. You’re back at school. Which is exactly where you belong.

But….

Fact: It is possible for parents to spoil their kids.

Fact: It is possible for kids to spoil their parents.

Fact: It is possible for kids to spoil their parents just by being home for a while.

Fact: It takes a while for us all to settle back into our “regular” roles.

Fact: It was wonderful having you home.

Reminder: Texts are wonderful, but it’s OK with Verizon if you occasionally use the phone to call and speak with us.

Have a great semester, kiddo.

Love, Mom

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Death By Elephant and Why James Bond Is Important

Dear Kid,

Holy Moley, was I wrong.

Happy Elephant Appreciation Day! Take a moment to appreciate your favorite elephant. DearKidLoveMom.comI thought I had it all figured out.

Having put several seconds of thought together, I decided I knew how I want to die. (No, this is not morbid.)

I decided I want to be 92 and get stepped on by an elephant. Squish. Done. No lingering moments or tubes. And the idea that I’ll be spry enough to be somewhere where a rogue elephant could step on me appeals immensely.

So I got talking to some people about it (at first they thought it was morbid too, but they soon got the point). And someone innocently suggested that I should research death by elephant to see if an elephant has ever stepped on someone to kill them.

Hilarious, I thought. Great topic. Wonderful. Amusing. Adorable even.

Not.

It turns out that execution by elephant was a thing. Particularly in India where (and I quote) “Asian elephants were used to crush, dismember, or torture captives in public executions.” That. Is. Awful.

Elephants are highly trainable, and they were taught both to kill people instantly or to torture them slowly over a long period of time. These trained pachyderms signified (again, I quote) “the ruler’s absolute power and his ability to control wild animals.” Disgusting.

I can’t tell you more about this because this is a horrible, awful way to treat animals. And people.

What I had in mind was much more of the Disney version. Wait, some of their stuff with elephants is pretty ugly too.

What I had in mind was much more of the James Bond version (the old movies). No blood. Nothing horrible. Just me being spry and lively and accidentally stepping under a heffalumps hoof. Maybe while the elephant was tap dancing or something.

In any case, I hereby apologize to all elephants. I will go think about other things.

Love, Mom

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Alternatives for Football to Think About

Dear Kid,

We’ve made it (mostly) through College Bowl Game Season.

Which is no small task when you think about the incredible number of games and the difficulty we mere mortals have in keeping track of everything.

I get that you know which game is which and what players are where and which teams are facing which teams. I’m more of the “hey, look! Football on TV!” kind of gal.

I was never good at keeping track of who was where. But now that they’ve changed all the names (The Joe’s Pizza Bowl—wait, what?) I’m not always even sure if it’s real or made up.

Football teams probably wouldn’t appreciate the swag if the games were sponsored by shoe & Makeup companies. DearKidLoveMom.comPersonally, I think they should re-think the sponsorship thing. I’m sure die-hard fans are going to follow the playoffs no matter what they call it. And those of us who don’t really follow might be a bit more interested if we found out that there was a DSW Bowl and an (Easy Breezy Beautiful) Cover Girl Bowl.

Then again, maybe not. We kinda know better and the teams probably wouldn’t appreciate the swag.

Raspberry suede peeky toe boots? Size 7 with 4 inch heels? Fabulous! Not.

Oh, well.

Fortunately, I have you to make sure I know what’s going on. Thankful for your footnotes. (Get it? Shoes? Footnotes? Sigh.)

Love, Mom

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It’s Day 2 — Let’s Make It a Good Year

Dear Kid,

This is fantastic! We’re on the second day of the year and (as of this writing) we’ve had no major catastrophes in our house.

This is a good start to 2017 and a good sign for the year.

I recognize that there have been some not-so-great things happening in the world. But 2017 just got started; you can’t expect perfection and redirection overnight.

I have confidence.

Today's Goal: Make someone smile. (Making 2017 a good year one day at a time) DearKidLoveMom.comI’ve decided that we (and by “we” I mean everyone in the universe—most of whom won’t pay any attention to me) should make 2017 better one day at a time. I’m not talking about world peace of curing urban blight or finding a good tasting non-caloric chocolate. Some things are best left to the experts.

I’m talking about the things we can impact.

Making someone smile.

Giving an unexpected compliment.

Holding a door.

Letting your mother watch something other than football on TV. (Oops, there I go with the crazy talk again.)

I’m pretty sure we can make a difference if we all try.

Love, Mom

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Happy New Year!

Dear Kid,

Well, look at you. Aren’t you adorable!

Happy New Year! DearKidLoveMom.comYou’re all spic and span and new, with your tiny little self smiling.

I’m not sure if the stork brought you last night or if you just showed up by magic, but I’m awfully glad to see you. I think a lot of us are.

We love babies. We give brand new babies the benefit of the doubt. We know you have a lot to grow into, a lot to learn.

Twelve months from now you’ll be different. Exhausted, worn out, probably jaded. But right now, you’re new, full of hope and possibilities.

And we need that very badly.

So even though the weather isn’t fabulous, and the news is a bit scary, and we all stayed up a bit too late last night to greet you, we’re delighted to say welcome.

We’re happy to have you here, 2017. Happy New Year!

Love, Mom

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Goodbye 2016

Dear Kid,

I am not ready for 2017.

Don’t get me wrong. Like many people, I am MORE than ready to say goodbye, adios, ta-ta, and begone to 2016. But I am not prepared for 2017.

I had plans.

I had Things I Was Going To Do.

I had lists (in my head at least).

I was going to be ready for the new year.

Somehow, it didn’t work out that way.

There are a limited (highly limited) number of hours before the ball drops, and it’s not likely I can get everything done before then.

Once again, I will welcome the new year half ready. Eager, but without the finishing touches that would make me really ready.

It’s like guests coming over and the table not being set and the sink full of dishes. They’re still welcome, but it’s not exactly the Martha greeting you were hoping for.

On the other hand, I have 365 to get ready for 2018.

Love, Mom

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