Mom Thoughts

7 Reasons Not to Hate Rain (The Proverbial Silver Lining)

Dear Kid,

What is with all the rain? Seriously.

Noah called, he wants people to stop stealing his gig.

Rain is liquid water in the form of droplets that have condensed from atmospheric water vapor and then precipitated—that is, become heavy enough to fall under gravity.

That dang gravity.

I love my rainboots. DearKidLoveMom.comMore importantly, rain is bad for shoes. It’s fine for rain boots, but it’s May already. I had fun wearing my rain boots in April.

April, the traditional month for rain and rain boots; May, the traditional month for wearing cute spring shoes.

On average, we get 256 inches of rain in North America every year. I’m pretty sure we’ve gotten 200 of those inches in the last week and a half. I have webbing growing in between my toes. And I’m over it.

But I decided to go looking for the proverbial silver lining.

On Venus, rain is made out of sulfuric acid. That would be worse than our endless rain made out of water.

It could be snow. That would be worse. Unless we had snow days. (Silver lining! Look for the silver lining! Right. Snow would be worse.)

When it rains cats and dogs, it doesn’t literally rain cats and dogs. That would be worse.

The maximum speed of a falling rain drop ranges from 18 to 22 miles per hour. If they weren’t shaped like raindrops, they might have less friction, fall faster, and impale people. That would be worse.

Rain lands in droplets. An inch of rain on an acre of land weighs approximately 226,000 pounds. That would hurt if it feel all at once.

Rain isn’t purple. That would be bad for shoes, and clothes, and hair. But it would be pretty.

We have umbrellas and rain boots. And we don’t melt.

I can live with the rain.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Conversations | Someone Needs Attention

Puppy Conversations | Someone Needs Attention

Dear Kid,

And there I was at 10:45pm listening to Dad snore gently as I watched sheep race up to fence, then stop and enter into a philosophical discussion about whether they were being kept in or out. DearKidLoveMom.comPuppy: ‘Scuse me, ‘scuse me, Puppy coming through.
Me: Am I in your way?
Puppy: Not exactly.
Me: “Not exactly” because you’re climbing into my lap?
Puppy: That’s where the attention is.
Me: And you need attention?
Puppy: Exactly.

 

Me: Can I help you, sir?
Puppy: I need attention.
Me: What kind of attention do you need?
Puppy: What kind of attention you got?
Me: I have snuggling attention. Will that work?
Puppy: I was hoping more for a good scratch behind the ears kind of attention.
Me: I think I can make that work.

 

Me: Where are you going?
Puppy: To take a nap.
Me: I thought you needed attention.
Puppy: I did. Now I need a nap.
Me: I feel abandoned.
Puppy: You’re not a very good pillow.

Love, Mom

 
Who do you know who would enjoy Puppy Conversations? Share the DearKidLoveMom.com love
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Awful or Offal?

Dear Kid,

There was a small problem with conversation the other night.

Use your heart, your brain, your liver, your stomach, whatever you want to figure out what offal is... DearKidLoveMom.comThere was confusion about the difference between awful and offal. (Pronounced about the same, as different in meaning as the spelling. Except for some people who think they are exactly the same.)

So first the definition. Offal refers to the internal organs and entrails of an animal. So pretty much everything that isn’t bone or muscle.

Now before you stop reading and start yelling at me, some kinds of offal and its dishes are considered seriously yummy cuisine. Think foie gras, pâté, chopped liver, or sweetbread.

Iron Chef Michael Symon is known for liking offal.

I am not Iron Chef Michel Symon.

Love, Mom

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Pretty Perfect Pancake Panache

Dear Kid,

One meal. Five pancakes. Pretty much sufficient for the entire day.

We had breakfast (or possibly breakfastlunchdinnerandallthesnacksinbetween) at Nashville’s Pancake Pantry.

The pancakes came out and I ate myself happy...and I may not eat again until next Wednesday. DearKidLoveMom.comThey have a sign at the Pancake Pantry that says “Calories eaten outside your zip code don’t count.” How can you not love these people?

In order to eat at the Pancake Pantry, you have to wait. There’s pretty much no place to wait inside and fortunately the weather cooperated. (That was pretty much the theme of the weekend—weather threat offset by weather cooperating. When you think about it, that’s a great theme.)

The Pancake Pantry is known for—wait for it—pancakes. They are known for spectacular buttermilk pancakes made with a super-secret flour and for sweet potato pancakes. How to choose, how to choose? Easy. I didn’t. I had them split my order half and half.

And then ate myself happy.

Skipped lunch, had some salad for dinner, and may not eat until next Wednesday.

I really hope they’re right about the calories.

Love, Mom

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Yoda and the Worm | May 21

Dear Kid,

I almost hate to mention it (in case you might be moved to celebrate). Today is National Speak Like Yoda Day.

Like it, I do.

“Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” – YodaBut like it all day, I do not.

Meanwhile, in 2012, researchers discovered a new type of acorn worm (in case you weren’t sure, acorn worms live in the ocean, about a mile and a half deep).

And I quote: Yoda purpurata or “purple Yoda.” The reddish-purple acorn worm … has large lips on either side of its head region that reminded researchers of the floppy-eared Stars Wars character Yoda.

Who knew that worms had “head regions”?

And who woulda thunk scientists would be dumb enough to call Yoda “floppy-eared”?

Until 2012, the Yoda worm had been hiding and leaving crop-circle shaped poop on the ocean floor to puzzle scientists. (It’s important to keep scientists busy.) Now they’re leaving poop openly.

But back to the real Yoda.

At one point, Yoda was going to be blue. Since that would be wrong, they changed it. Even though it’s not easy being green.

Yoda lived to be exactly 900 years old. That is older than you.

There is a lot of mystery around Yoda. No one knows what planet he’s from, what his favorite color is, or whether he had a sense of humor when he was younger.

Enjoy the day, I hope you do.

Love, Mom

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Important Stuff to Know About Nashville

Dear Kid,

Dear Kid, So proud of you. Love, Mom. DearKidLoveMom.comOnce upon a time there were people living in the area currently known as Nashville.  Those people didn’t really care for country music since they were busy growing corn and fighting off saber tooth tigers. Then other people came along, and then other people, and blam! Before you could say “country twang” there was a thriving metropolis.

They named the thriving metropolis (and by “thriving metropolis” I mean the small fort) Fort Nashborough in honor of the war hero General Francis Nash. In 1784, the community decided to change its name to Nashville because that sounded more likely to attract country singers in the 20th century.

Tennessee became the 16th state in 1796 and Nashville became the capitol in 1843.

Happy Nashville-ing!

Love, Mom

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