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Your parents are tired and grumpy. You’ve been warned. | Winter is Coming and Puppy is Barking

Dear Kid,

So it happened.

As we knew (or at least feared) it would.

Your parents are tired and grumpy. You've been warned. DearKidLoveMom.comThe groundhog, Mr. Punxsutawney Phil himself, saw his shadow, screeched in alarm, and darted back down underneath his covers, there to stay until 2021.

Perhaps it wasn’t his shadow that so freaked him out. I’m not a groundhog handler, so I can’t be sure.

Regardless, we are likely to have more winter before we have spring. This surprises exactly no one except those of me who were slightly hopeful.

We are continuing to have issues with the Puppy barking at all sorts of unapproved hours. He’s being very closed-snouted about the why of the whole thing.

At first I thought he just decided that he’s too grown up and doesn’t need a crate anymore, but I don’t think that’s it.

‘Tis a puzzlement.

Not an amusing one since it is diametrically opposite sleep. Which we like. A lot.

Between the additional winter and the less than standard amount of sleep, you have fairly cranky parents.

You’ve been warned.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Alarm in the Middle of the Night

Dear Kid,

Right now, he looks like an angel. He’s fast asleep and little baby snores are wafting slowly around him. Really, I can see them. Like little cartoon Zs with wings and agitrons (they’re related to grawlixes).

Grawlixes. The characters cartoonists use instead of swear words. DearKidLoveMom.com

Grawlixes. The characters cartoonists use instead of swear words.

Agitrons: wiggly lines around a shaking object or character.

Grawlixes: typographical symbols standing for profanities, appearing in dialogue balloons in place of actual dialogue.

His little nose is tucked under and he’s just a ball of adorable love.

Not so a few hours ago.

4:47am to be precise.

That’s when he began to bark.

First a warning bark or two. Then a cascade of Get Away From My House arpeggios. Followed by a full-on The Huns Are Invading alert. After 6 or 7 weeks of this, I hauled myself out of bed to investigate. 

I took the baby for a walk (which he enjoyed very much) and gave him breakfast (which he also enjoyed very much) and then he settled himself on his pillow for the aforementioned snooze. I still have no idea what caused the middle of the night call to arms feet paws. And surprisingly, he’s not talking.

(Note: Dad just came downstairs. “You,” he said looking at me and ignoring the Puppy’s flopping tail, “took the bait.”

I thought grawlixes.

“I don’t know why you didn’t just go out into the hall. That quiets him down and you could have gone right back to bed.”

Note on the Note: Doesn’t matter how hard you look, you will not be able to find Dad’s body.)

In all likelihood I will be napping this afternoon.

Love, Mom

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It’s Spouse’s Day! Take Time to Celebrate

Dear Kid,

Today is Spouse’s Day.

You do not yet have one of those.

I do.

And while the idea of Spouse’s Day is a little weird, it’s also kind of a nice thing. DearKidLoveMom.comAnd while the idea of Spouse’s Day is a little weird, it’s also kind of a nice thing.

It’s nice to have a day to say “I love you.” I try to remember to say that every day (sometimes even more than once a day) but Life has a habit of getting in the way.

There are chores to be done and meals to be made and puppies to be walked and clothes to be washed and work to be finished and dishes to put away and…

Sometimes we need a tap on the shoulder.

A gentle reminder to say “thank you” or to take time for a hug.

So I hope you’ll excuse me if I cut this note short so I have time to give my Sweetie a quick hug.

Love, Mom

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A Wedding? That Can’t Possibly Be Right!

Dear Kid,

One possible interpretation is that I chose to wait. That I held on to the holiday letters I received from friends until now so that I could enjoy them in the calm of the new year.

Another interpretation is that I managed to get them all into a pile and then somehow buried the pile under another pile until last weekend when I excavated them.

A third is that I just plum dang forgot about them.

Whichever you believe, the fact is that I just got around to reading them.

I love hearing from friends I don’t get to see often. To learn about all the things that are going on in their lives. To catch up on their comings and goings and pretend that I am just as interesting and just as good at keeping in touch (even though I’m not). Generally, reading the letters is a silent process. But one letter caused me to squawk.

Me: This can’t be right.
Dad: Um?
Me: Gloria’s daughter is getting married!
Dad: Isn’t she, like, 5?
Me: Exactly! She can’t possibly be old enough to tie her own shoes much less tie the knot.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning DearKidLoveMom.comMind you, Gloria’s daughter was born on the day Daddy and I got engaged. And by utilizing some creative math (and by “math” I mean makeup) and holding tight to an excessive amount of denial, there is no way that child is more than a pre-teen.

(Yes, I know reality would seem to indicate she’s somewhat older than you. I’m in denial over that too.)

This is how I’ve got it figured: Gloria looks about a week older than she did when we were in school. The last time I saw her daughter was when she was an infant. I clearly have not aged more than a few years since then. Voila! Creative math and statistical improbabilities.

Which makes it harder to celebrate our (Dad’s and my) anniversary with any amount of accuracy, but I’ve always been flexible when it comes to that sort of thing.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I must contact the authorities about a toddler getting married.

Love, Mom

P.S. If somehow my calculations and permutations are off and she is old enough (ha!) to get married, I wish everyone all the best for a wonderful next chapter. 

P.P.S. And really good waterproof mascara for the wedding day.

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For the Love of Lefties

Dear Kid,

There are things in the Universe I don’t understand. Quite a few things, actually.

Inigo Montoya: “I admit it, you are better than I am.” Westley: “Then why are you smiling?” Inigo Montoya: “Because I know something you don't know.” Westley: “And what is that?” Inigo Montoya: “I am not left-handed.” -- “The Princess Bride” DearKidLoveMom.comAnd now there is one more.

I hurt sprained strained tore over-stretched aggravated hurt my right wrist. So I have wisely decided to rest it. (I am typing left handed. Dad and the puppy are policing the resting of the wrist.)

After several hours of enforced left-handedness (during which I did highly complex things like eat dinner and watch TV), I can conclusively say I don’t get it.

“God made everyone right-handed, the truly gifted overcome it.” -- Anonymous DearKidLoveMom.comHow do Lefties DO it? How do they do all those things with their south paw? I mean it’s HARD. Really, really hard. As in not easy. Practically impossible.

I am so impressed….

Dear Mom,

Really, my wrist will be fine. Not a biggie. Just needs a little rest. I’m pretty sure this was just an opportunity for me to be impressed with ambidextrous people.

Love, Mom

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5 Facts About College Kids and an Important Reminder

Dear Kid,

I had a few not-so-good minutes yesterday. Not hideously CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT bad, but bittersweet.

And it’s your fault.

I got up (relatively early for a Sunday with no scheduled plans). As I sat thawing (after walking the Puppy in sub-temperature degrees) and drinking my coffee (duh) I thought, “I wonder what time the Kid will wake up today.”

And then I realized that A) I was right that you were probably still sleeping and B) I was right that you would wake up at some point later in the morning but C) you were not going to come downstairs, fuzzle-headed, to join me for breakfast.

Some of us get over the excitement more quickly than others...DearKidLoveMom.comBecause you’re no longer here. You’re back at school. Which is exactly where you belong.

But….

Fact: It is possible for parents to spoil their kids.

Fact: It is possible for kids to spoil their parents.

Fact: It is possible for kids to spoil their parents just by being home for a while.

Fact: It takes a while for us all to settle back into our “regular” roles.

Fact: It was wonderful having you home.

Reminder: Texts are wonderful, but it’s OK with Verizon if you occasionally use the phone to call and speak with us.

Have a great semester, kiddo.

Love, Mom

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