Family

Recipe for Thanksgiving

Dear Kid,

Recipe for Thanksgiving

What do you mean "We're having turkey?" Go vegan! Dessert, pie, potatoes, veggies, Yum. Thanksgiving. DearKidLoveMom.com1 turkey

1/2 gallon of gravy; zero lumps

1 dish of sweet potatoes

1 dish of mashed potatoes

Corn soufflé

Green beans with almonds

Roasted Brussel sprouts

3 kinds of cranberry sauce

Sage stuffing

4,872 mini pumpkin muffins

Rolls. Lots and lots of rolls

15 football games

1 Thanksgiving Day parade

2 dogs

4 pies

17 friends

Water with ice

Adult beverages in appropriate amounts

1 surprise guest

2 naps

Coffee

Two dogs and two people taking naps

Hearts full of thanks and gratitude

What’s your recipe?

Love, Mom

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The Corn Harvest

Dear Kid,

As you probably remember, Dad spent much of the summer tending his vegetable gardens with the love and care usually reserved for offspring.

Because of all his hard work, we’ve enjoyed home-grown cucumbers, tomatoes, zucchini, beets, and a melon. Ok, we didn’t actually enjoy the melon; it was pretty awful. But the rest of the produce was great.

The corn harvest 2017. DearKidLoveMom.comLast week we celebrated Harvest the Corn Day. Yep, we grew corn (and by “we” I mean Dad did all the work and I occasionally glanced out the window to see that, yes indeed, there were cornstalks in the middle of the backyard). And yes, we know it’s October, but getting seeds in the ground early is generally not part of Dad’s farming protocol.

The Puppy carefully supervised the shucking and cooking of the corn, waiting (im)patiently for some to drop on the floor.

The corn was excellent. By far the best Dad has ever grown. 

Love, Mom

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Spinach, Not Great Questions, and a Good Recovery

Dear Kid,

“None of these leaves are good?”

As far as helpful conversations went, that was right up there with “Hot enough for ya’?” and “Hey, you’re bleeding out of both ears! You OK?”

While Dad was out of town, I harvested and cooked some Malabar spinach. Note to burglars: He’s back and anyway I had the Vicious Attack Dog with me the entire time.

Yeah, it was a lot of spinach. DearKidLoveMom.comMalabar spinach harvesting is no easy matter.

First you have to convince this spinach. This involves a lengthy conversation with an uncooperative vine which has wrapped itself into the Gordian Knot (remember that one?) of complicated vine-ness. And it’s not just one vine—oh, no. It’s about a thousand on one plant.

Then you have work quickly because the leaves (the part you eat) get surly very quickly. You cut each and every leaf off the vine individually, inspecting for wear, tear, and wildlife as you go, and graciously cutting the remaining vine and unusable leaves into smallish pieces so they can be taken out to the compost pile.

After that, you wash and dry the remaining leaves and then, and only then, can you begin the process of cooking.

Since the ratio of compost to usable plant material is about 400 to 1, you can imagine the whole thing takes a while.

Spinach DearKidLoveMomAnd the last thing one wants at the end of the process is to have someone peer into the bag (did I mention how nicely cut up the compost was?) and insinuate that you might have overlooked some small portion of edible spinach.

Possible responses:

“Wait, I wasn’t supposed to keep the bad ones and toss the good ones?”

“I left them for you to go through.”

“Die now.”

…The Look…

Being in a nice mood (and by “nice” I mean not in the mood to be questioned about why I murdered my husband), I opted for The Look.

To his credit, Dad correctly interpreted The Look and immediately said, “How ‘bout I take out the compost? Right now.”

Good recovery, Dad.

Love, Mom

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Countdown to Internship | Mom Advice

Dear Kid,

Countdown to Internship | Mom Advice DearKidLoveMom.comDid you set your alarm?

Do you have your keys?

What about your lunch? Did you take your lunch?

Don’t run with scissors.

Once it’s on the internet, it’s there for life.

Be sure to eat breakfast, it’s the most important meal of the day.

Did you turn off the stove?

Be careful! Someone could lose an eye.

Don’t talk to strangers (wait—I rescind that—everyone is a stranger until you meet them).

Be yourself. Unless you have amnesia.

Smile.

Be sure to say Please and Thank You.

Make sure you buckle your seatbelt.

Don’t sit too close to the TV. Or the laptop. Or your phone.

Put your phone down during dinner!

Don’t talk while I’m talking.

Don’t interrupt your new boss.

Remember to brush your teeth.

Eat your vegetables.

Don’t make me come up there!

You don’t have to cry over spilled milk, but you do need to clean it up.

Did you finish your homework? What do you mean you don’t have any homework? Finish it anyway.

And don’t forget to call your parents every now and then.

Love, Mom

P. S. Because I said so.

 

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Countdown to Internship | Part II The Dinner Edition

Dear Kid,

Countdown to Internship | Part II The Dinner Edition DearKidLoveMom.comAny requests for dinner this week?

Nope.

Anything you don’t make yourself so you want to have before you go?

Not really.

Chicken? Fish? Grilled cheese?

Whatever you want is fine with me.

Apple cake or honey cake?

Anything you want, Mom.

Some people would assume you are the Most Easy Going Kid on the planet. (You’re not, I checked.)

Other people might assume you are singularly focused on your phone and had no idea what I said. (You probably were buried in your phone, but you surfaced enough for the conversation. I checked.)

Still others might assume that you are doing your best to drive your Beloved Mother crazy. (You weren’t. You have other tricks for doing that.)

You were just being you. And you honestly had no preference for whether we had fish or chicken.

Which was fine except for the part about you leaving for your internship in a few days and me wanting to spoil you a little before you go.

We could go out to NameOfLocalRestaurant.

I meant spoil you by cooking something you’ll remember. And we’re paying tuition, so we can’t afford NameOfLocalRestaurant.

I like shepherd’s pie…?

EXCELLENT! (Excuse me I have to go fix dinner.)

Love, Mom

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Countdown to Internship |The Truth About Mom Part I

Dear Kid,

What are you watching on TV?
Football Game 1. Football Game 2. Football Game 3. And a James Bond movie.
All of them?
Yeah (duh).
Pick one.
I’m watching all of them.
Choose a channel, Child. And leave it.
You’re really old fashioned, Mom.

Countdown to Internship | The Truth About Mom DearKidLoveMom.comKid?
Um?
There’s a big pile of clothes outside your room.
Yeah?
Why is there a big pile of clothing outside your room?
It’s laundry.
Why is it outside your room in a big pile?
There’s no reason for it to be in my room, is there?
Child!
Don’t worry, Little Mama, I’ll do my laundry.
Preferably before it walks to the laundry room by itself…

There is also a mighty fine collection of mugs outside your room.
Yep.
Are you taking all of them with you when you go to your internship?
No, I just need to wash them.
So the hallway is what, a halfway house?
You’re hilarious, Mom.
Seriously, Child, the mugs have filed for citizenship they’ve been there so long.
I. Will. Wash. Them.

WHO USED THIS PAN AND DIDN’T WASH IT?
I’ll get to it, Mother.
Don’t you “Mother” me, young man.
You want me to call you “Dad”?
I want you to wash your dishes.
Settle down, Mama. I will, I will.
I mean before your 30th birthday!
Again, hilarious. Not.

And yet I will miss you more than you can possibly imagine when you’re off doing wonderful internship things.

Love, Mom

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