I have an opinion.
And I have done the math to back it up.
As you know, but I just found out recently, the Jets are playing hockey.
This is—obviously—wrong. Even if one isn’t a Jets (football) fan (Go Giants! Go Bengals! Go everyone!), one must acknowledge that the Jets exist (even if I’m not entirely sure what state they’re in anymore).
One should not have to hear that the Jets are playing and spend the next few minutes trying to understand that there is a Jets football team and a Jets hockey team and they are in no way related.
So I did the math.
According to My Friend the Internet, there are 30 professional basketball teams, 32 football teams, 31 hockey teams (how ridiculous to have an odd number of teams), 23 MLS teams (ditto), and 30 baseball teams for a total of 146 major league professional athletic teams in the US (and Canada).
One hundred forty-six.
Do you know how few that is? Yeah, OK, it’s 146 few. Which means there is no freaking reason on this planet that two of them have to have the same mascot name!
I propose that The Great Sports Authority (could be our friend Jenelle, might be Nike, but I’m open to suggestions) mandate a contest to see which team gets to keep the Jets moniker and which has to hold open auditions for a new mascot. I’ll have to give some thought as to how the winner should be determined (suggestions welcome here too).
Somebody really ought to be in charge of things like this.
(Can you tell I’m trying to distract myself from the fact that you’re graduating in four days?)