Not the fountain of youth DearKidLoveMom.comDear Kid,

After the hilarity of yesterday (hope you had a good April Fools’ Day), I thought we should turn to some very serious history.

On April 2, 1513, Ponce de Leon made the future safe for American senior citizens, alligators, and orange growers by discovering Florida. He did not discover the Fountain of Youth for which the cosmetics industry is extremely grateful.

In 1805, Hans Christian Anderson made the future safe for Disney by being born and going on to write all sorts of great fairy tales (including the Snow Queen which was the basis for Frozen which we all looooove).

In 1827, Joseph Dixon made the world safe for standardized tests by beginning the manufacture of lead pencils.

On April 2, 1875, Walter Percy Chrysler made the US safe for automotive competition by being born in Wamego, Kansas. He never wrote a story that came anywhere close to what HCA wrote, but he built better cars than Hans ever dreamed of.

April 2, 1902, the world became a safer place for huge popcorn and oversized candy when the first motion picture theater opened in Los Angeles.

April 2, 1917, President Woodrow Wilson made the world safer for democracy (at least according to him) by asking Congress to declare of war against Germany.

Then on April 2, 1978, Velcro was 1st put on the market making the world safer for the clumsy fingered everywhere.

In 1986, the NCAA made the basketball court safe for high scores and sportscaster “discussions” by adopting the 3-point basketball rule (19 feet 9 inch distance).

April 2, 1992 a prosecutor (who no one remembers) made the world safe for a mob power struggle by convicting mob boss John Gotti (who lots of people remember). Gotti was known as the Teflon Don because so many charges thrown at him over the years didn’t stick.

And finally, on April 2, 1995, New York City became safer for I’m-not-sure-who when the NY Police Department and the New York Transit police merged. I don’t remember this, but I’m sure it was momentous for someone.

Hope your April 2 is just as historic.

Love, Mom