Dear Kid,
I’ve decided dieting is all wrong.
For years, the dieting industry has focused on counting what we put in our mouths. This is – by my scientific calculations – completely wrong.
According to my (new and improved) theory, we should get credit for the things we don’t eat.
Pass up the pasta? Lose a pound. Skip the cookies? Bam! A pound and a half. Refuse the temptation of the dessert table? Drop a dress size.
See how this works?
My (new and improved) method gives us credit for the hard choices (bourbon soaked bread pudding? Not today, thank you) rather than the easy ones (sure, I’ll have another celery stick).
I’ve convinced my brain and stomach that dieting should work this way. Now all I have to do is convince my hips, and we’re good to go.
Happy today,
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