Dear Kid,

Getting ready for the Super Bowl is not a process to be taken lightly. After all, the Super Bowl happens but once a year. Like New Year’s Eve but with better commercials. Who doesn’t love puppies and Clydesdales?

Being the kind of mom I am, I have decided to provide you with this Handy Guide to Getting Ready for the Super Bowl for the College Kid.

1. Decide where you are going to watch the game. Are you guest, host, or throwing everyone out of your dorm room so you can watch in peace? Are you going to watch in someone’s room or head out to an environment where there are Public Viewing Options like B Dub’s (less good if you actually want to hear the commentary or commercials).
2. Get your homework done in advance so you don’t hear your mother in your head saying “What is your homework situation?” during kickoff. Do not try to do homework during The Big Game unless you plan to go to the library and ignore The Event.
3. If the event is going to be in your dorm room, calmly discuss the viewing options with your roommates. The conversation should go something like this. “NO SLEEPING DURING THE SUPERBOWL. AND IF YOU DO DECIDE TO SLEEP YOU DON’T GET TO COMPLAIN ABOUT NOISE LEVELS FROM THOSE OF US WATCHING THIS IMPORTANT SPORTING EVENT.” If your roommate is from a futbol loving country like Brazil, he or she will totally get it. If not, you may have some ‘splainin’ to do.
4. Arrange for snacks during the Super Bowl. It is perfectly acceptable to insist people bring their own and leave you out of it; you just have to be clear. Otherwise you will be subsisting on whatever’s left in the vending machine and questionable remnants of a burrito.
5. Do not go out the previous evening. You need to rest up for the big event. (Yeah, ok, that’s mom advice.)
6. Decide what time you are going to begin watching. This is not as silly a statement as it may sound since coverage begins far before game time. And by “far before game time” I mean yesterday.
7. Agree with your co-watchers on the appropriate method for evaluating commercials. This can range from ignoring them completely (a tactic employed by 6% of Super Bowl watchers), calmly discussing them (2% of viewers), or screaming raucously at the top of your lungs (everyone else).
8. Text during the game. In the modern world (and by “modern world” I mean your world), it is fairly lame to only watch the game with the people you are watching the game with. Be sure to ignore the people in the room (at least part of the time) to catch up with those watching in other venues.
9. Enjoy! With luck it will be an interesting football game.

Love, Mom