You know how important it is to vote. But you also know that lots of people won’t exercise their right to vote in this election. Being the kind of mom I am, I have done extensive scientific research into this and can now present you with 9 Reasons You Should Absolutely Positively NOT Vote on Tuesday.
- You’re a convicted felon and you live in a state where convicted felons can’t vote.
- You plan to be a convicted felon and want to get a head start.
- You’re planning to live the rest of your life on Mars. Without government funding.
- You’re a citizen of another country and you’re just in the US for a 2 week vacation
- You’re a frog, not a human. (Frogs are not allowed to vote.)
- You aren’t old enough.
- You’ve been kidnapped by aliens. For the last several weeks.
- You’re in a coma.
- You’re dead. (Unless you live in Chicago, where the dead vote early and often.)
I’m guessing none of these apply to you. Especially #5.