10 Things I Learned From My Dreams Last Night

Dear Kid,

Things I learned in my dreams last night:

1. It is not a good idea to put a leash on a goose to go for a walk.
2. Dream iguanas like pizza.
3. It is possible to walk on the ceiling, but the street signs are confusing.
4. When you read a book backwards, there are generally no secret messages.
5. Dream numbers don’t follow the usual mathematic rules.
6. Yes, those pants do make me look fat.
7. Never believe things an Oreo tells you.
8. Elephants can use their trunks to make marvelous hammocks—if they are in the right mood.
9. Just because it looks like a rabbit, doesn’t necessarily mean it is a rabbit.
10. My guitar playing in DreamWorld isn’t any better than in real life.

My mind is a very weird place to be.

Love, Mom