Dear Kid,

Today is Auntie M’s birthday (it would be quite nice of you to send her a text recognizing this auspicious event).

As you may recall, Auntie M is left handed, so this seems like an excellent time to discuss the stigma of handedness.

If one were to look up facts about left-handedness (which I did and don’t recommend you do), you would find all sorts of nasty (and frequently untrue) things. You would also find a few important facts missing.

It seems like a Big Mistake to focus on fallacies, inconsistencies, and just plain mean facts on Auntie M’s birthday. (I figure I can return to being a rotten sister tomorrow if I feel like it.)

So, being the kind of mom and sister I am, I now present you a list of Happy Facts and Important Reminders About Left-Handers.

1. Between 10-12% of people on earth are lefties. Researchers postulate that the proportion of left-handers has remained constant for over 30,000 years. How they figured that one out, I have no clue.

2. One must always knit right-handed. This is not discrimination; it is fact. I know because Grandma Pat said so and she was left-handed, and if you think I’m going to argue with Grandma Pat you are out of your mind.

3. There are more left-handed people with IQs over 140 than right-handed people. Smarty pants lefties include Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Benjamin Franklin, and Auntie M.

4. The Incas thought left-handers were capable of healing and that they possessed magical abilities. The North American Zuni tribe believed left-handedness signified good luck. The Incas and the Zuni are well known for being insightful people. At least on this subject.

5. Studies have suggested that left-handers are more talented in spatial awareness, math, and architecture.

6. Left-handedness runs in families. Lefties in the British royal family include the Queen Mother, Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Charles, and Prince William. No official word yet on the baby.

7. Because connections between the right and left sides of the brain are faster in left-handed people, information zooms back and forth, making left-handers more efficient in dealing with multiple stimuli.

8. Less than 1% of the world’s population can be considered truly ambidextrous. The correct term for this is both-side-handed.

9. The longest words that can be typed using only the left hand with conventional hand placement are sweaterdresses and tesseradecades. No idea why you’d want to worry about this.

10. Lefties make lovely sisters.

Happy Birthday, M.

Love, Mom